Six Solutions - a recipe for a happier life

What have you done in life? For many people suffering with a mental health issue such as depression, questions like this have the same debilitating impact that Kryptonite has on Superman. Just hearing the question can bring you to your knees, tipping you into the murky pit of swirling darkness where your worse memories, regrets and frustrations lurk like spectres. And when one reaches out to grab you, it can feel like you’ll be dragged deeper and deeper, drowning in the bile of your own emotions. Yet, that same question – What have you done in life? – can actually be the source of your strength; giving you a boost of power and belief that will ultimately fuel your recovery. Asking yourself ‘What have you done in life?’ gives you the opportunity to turn how you feel and even how you see yourself completely on its head. Depression loves it when we focus on our setbacks and failures. Wallowing about in regret and remorse is like giving a steroid injection to the condition. But when you...

Have you noticed how happy people tend to appreciate and enjoy more of what they have. They don’t yearn for a promotion or pay rise. They don’t scowl towards their car, wishing it was newer, or bigger, or had a better badge. They enjoy spending time with friends and family. Life seems good. Whereas unhappy people often focus on the things they don’t have, or the things they want. Nothing they have is enough; our job should pay more; we need a more impressive house; we ‘deserve’ an exotic holiday, or more expensive clothes. Add to this a tendency to regret the things we’ve lost, or opportunities missed and taken from us, and suddenly you’ve got a very simple yet powerful recipe for potential depression. Yet it’s so easy to fall into this way of thinking. We’re bombarded by messages and adverts telling us we should want more, have more, need more. Our car could be newer, faster, bigger, more impressive. Our lives should be more exciting, more enriching, more fulfilling, more successf...

We’re often told that the world can be such a cruel place. Tuning into the evening news, or reading the headlines on the morning newspapers certainly reinforces this idea. It can seem that ordinary people do little to dispel the notion either. You don’t have to look too hard to discover that negative traits such as greed, aggression, selfishness and conceit have almost become twenty-first century virtues. Those thrusting go-getters caught up in the current version of ‘life’ often wear these characteristics proudly as badges of achievement. Yet as human beings, we’re not meant to operate like this. We’re pack animals. Historically, we’ve lived in tribes and later communities; all closely bonded together with our group interests at heart. Even our recent histories are packed with stories of people ‘pulling together’, living cheek by jowl in ‘the same boat’, sharing a ‘community spirit’. Maybe it’s no coincidence then that so many of our older generations hark back to past decades, and...

As a society, we seem addicted to drama. I’m not talking about the fictional shows we watch on TV for entertainment. That can often be fun and harmless escapism. What I’m talking about is the more insidious version of drama. The toxic stream of bile that we allow into our lives and into our heads. A stream that makes us upset, frustrated, angry, sad and scared. The drama that we can do nothing about. On some levels, this comes from the media. Tune into any TV news show and you’ll often see the aftermath of disaster, or war, or social and political upheaval. You’ll see people suffering, or fighting, or arguing, weeping, wailing, sometimes even dying. Usually, these events are taking place hundreds, often thousands of miles away, to people you don’t know and will never meet. As sad as their situation and stories are, you’re powerless to make a difference. So it’s hardly surprising to find that observing and absorbing this kind of drama is unlikely to fill you with positive energy or ...

I keep talking about the Six Solutions to happiness, so now seems like the perfect time to talk about them. Firstly though, the small print: Each of these Six Solutions work for me. They rescued me from a very dark period and they took a lot of finding. I don’t own them. I didn’t invent them. I’ve just retrieved them from where they were buried, dusted them off, given them a polish and put them back on display. I think and hope they will work for you too. The first thing you’ll notice, and perhaps this is the most startling revelation, is that they are so simple. There’s no complex formula we have to follow. No rules that must not be broken. Nothing confusing, frightening or difficult to do. Frankly, once you’ve discovered these Six Solutions, you’ll realise that they were always there. And that they’re based around good, old-fashioned common sense. Perhaps you’ll wonder how you missed them all this time. The thing is, you haven’t missed them. They were buried. Lost, beneath all...

This is the one I expect many people to find the most confusing of the Six Solutions, but it’s actually quite simple. First though, you’ll need to recognise what your Ego is. And why it’s so dangerous. For me, my Ego is the snarling, badgering voice inside my head: The one fond of telling me that I should be more, or that I should have more, want more, expect more. Because who I am and the life I lead isn’t enough. Recognise those feelings? Of course, we all have an Ego. And I guess we all need an Ego. Perhaps in ancient times, the Ego was the thing that pushed us to survive; in famine, in battle, in the face of a pack of wild wolves or a hungry bear. Ego told us we were too important to die. We had to survive! So back then, it had its uses. Yet the world and humankind has moved on. In the Western world, we no longer face famine, battle or the threat of wild animals. So what purpose does the Ego serve? Ego no longer there to protect you No longer worried about its survival, t...