Six Solutions: Solution One - Avoid Time Travel

I keep talking about the Six Solutions to happiness, so now seems like the perfect time to talk about them.

Firstly though, the small print: Each of these Six Solutions work for me.

They rescued me from a very dark period and they took a lot of finding. I don’t own them. I didn’t invent them. I’ve just retrieved them from where they were buried, dusted them off, given them a polish and put them back on display. I think and hope they will work for you too.

The first thing you’ll notice, and perhaps this is the most startling revelation, is that they are so simple.

There’s no complex formula we have to follow. No rules that must not be broken. Nothing confusing, frightening or difficult to do. Frankly, once you’ve discovered these Six Solutions, you’ll realise that they were always there. And that they’re based around good, old-fashioned common sense.

Perhaps you’ll wonder how you missed them all this time.

The thing is, you haven’t missed them. They were buried. Lost, beneath all the artificial guff that modern life throws at us. Pushed aside by the demands and pressures and obligations we ‘think’ we must carry in order to live in today’s world.

Recognise and reclaim the things that are important

If my Grandmother was still alive, she would tell us that the Six Solutions were simply an ordinary and accepted part of life as recently as fifty, forty, even thirty years ago.

Back when my Grandmother was a young woman, in the nineteen thirties and forties, times were hard. Incredibly hard. People had nothing. They lived in housing we’d condemn and demolish today. They struggled for heating, lighting, clothing and good food.

Jobs were tough and at times scarce. It was often a genuine struggle to survive. Yet despite all this, people seemed not to suffer with the mental anguish many of us wrestle with today. My Grandmother told me people were happier with less. Because they actually had more. They lived with many of the Six Solutions as part of their daily lives. It kept them healthy.

For this blog, I’ll be focusing on the first of the Six Solutions.

Solution One: Live here, TODAY

My grandmother was fond of telling me that as a young woman, she was far too busy surviving to regret anything from her past, or even fear anything about the future. She and many of her peers lived entirely for Today.

This is the first solution. Perhaps the foundation to changing your life. (It was for me)

This moment NOW, as you read these words, that’s all you really have. Make the most of it.

Looking back at your past with regret or frustration or anger or any negative emotion is a complete waste of time. It certainly doesn’t make you ‘feel’ any better. And all the mental energy you spend replaying past events, exploring possible alternatives, wishing you could walk a different path, say a different word, do a different thing…it’s a waste of time and effort.

The past can’t be changed. It’s happened. Done. Dusted. Finished.

Take what you want from it in terms of experience and lessons learned, then lock the door and throw away the key. STOP LOOKING BACK.

This same logic applies to the future. Anxiety is just fear; fear of what lies around the corner. Yet focusing your energies on this is just as wasteful as looking back and wishing you could change your past.

Right now, THIS moment, is the only time you really have. Your future doesn’t even exist yet. It hasn’t been decided and you certainly can’t visit and live there. So why imagine that you can?

Visualising the actions and consequences of an imaginary future is like trying to watch a film that hasn’t been made yet. Yes, if you let it, your anxious mind will play the movie over and over again; inventing scenes and scenarios designed to terrify you. But again, this is a waste of your energy.

That future doesn’t exist. The things anxiety scares you with, aren’t real. It’s fiction. So why believe it?

Refuse to watch the movie. Don’t even allow your mind to buy a ticket. Bolt the cinema door and throw away that key too.

Your life, right now, has everything you need

Instead, focus on now. Lift your eyes and your mind and soak up today instead. Concentrate on where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing. Stay present.

Use your senses to soak up your world as it is NOW. Today. Here.

Listen to the sounds. Really LISTEN! To birds singing, people talking, the wind racing through tree branches or howling between buildings; music playing! The Sea crashing against pebbles on a beach.

Take in the view; enjoy the colours, the lights, the beautiful scenery this world provides free. So many of us have become blind to the amazing canvas that unfolds before us each day. If today was your last day, what would you want to see?

I remember pausing to watch bees flit from one flower head to another – so happily working, busy living entirely in the moment – was something that opened my eyes. Losing myself entirely in that scene for five minutes helped me understand how this Solution might work for me.

Drink in the smells. Of grass. Of leaves. Of flowers, the breeze, perhaps your partner’s cologne; the smell of your dog’s fur. This is what’s real. Enjoy THIS!

Use your fingertips to remind you what things feel like. The bark of a tree. The sun’s heat on grass or wood. The sharp bite of ice and snow. What does the sun feel like on your skin? Or the breeze on your arms? What is it like to kiss the lips of neck of your lover? Nuzzle your pet’s ears (unless it’s a goldfish, of course).

These are the things that are important in your life today. Right NOW. Enjoy them. Don’t take them for granted as none of us can be certain we will have them again.

With your focus entirely captured by the amazing things each day offers, with your mind concentrating on only what is happening right NOW, you’ll find you have no time or inclination to look back or forward with depression or anxiety. What we all have TODAY is always more than enough.

Learn to keep your mind tuned into the present moment and you will soon see that those feelings from the past, or fears for the future, begin to diminish and lose their power. This is the fuel which feeds your mental health struggles. Without this fuel, depression and anxiety begin to wither and weaken.

So take control. Stop travelling backwards and forwards in time. Stay right here. NOW. ALWAYS.

I hope this helps you.

When you're ready, lets take a look at Solution Two - Taming your ego.