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Six Solutions: Solution Five – Love your reality.

Have you noticed how happy people tend to appreciate and enjoy more of what they have. They don’t yearn for a promotion or pay rise. They don’t scowl towards their car, wishing it was newer, or bigger, or had a better badge. They enjoy spending time with friends and family. Life seems good.

Whereas unhappy people often focus on the things they don’t have, or the things they want. Nothing they have is enough; our job should pay more; we need a more impressive house; we ‘deserve’ an exotic holiday, or more expensive clothes.

Add to this a tendency to regret the things we’ve lost, or opportunities missed and taken from us, and suddenly you’ve got a very simple yet powerful recipe for potential depression.

Yet it’s so easy to fall into this way of thinking. We’re bombarded by messages and adverts telling us we should want more, have more, need more. Our car could be newer, faster, bigger, more impressive. Our lives should be more exciting, more enriching, more fulfilling, more successful!

But when does more end. When is more enough? According to the never ending pressures we face, the answer is NEVER! More continues forever. Apparently, we should never be satisfied!

What’s wrong with what you have now?

Escaping this pressure is a key ingredient in the recipe for happiness. Being able to step back from the relentless brainwashing gives you the space and calmness to see things differently: To appreciate the things you already have.

What you have right now is ALL you have, whether that’s currently a lot or a little. You can’t enjoy the things you used to have but might have lost. Just as you can’t enjoy the things you don’t yet have but might get in the future. Wishing you could is just a waste of energy. And a waste of time.

Remember, we can’t return to the past or travel forward to the future. We can only live today and enjoy what today offers. And happy people seem to know this instinctively.

That’s why you’ll often find happy people taking walks on a sunny day, enthusiastically gazing across flowering fields, or pausing to watch clouds float across a blue sky. They merrily polish an old car, paint weathered house windows and tend a small garden; never once despairing that none of these things are enough.

Appreciate the things that can make you happy today

Gratitude is such an important factor. If you can show appreciation for the life you have now - your health, your home, your family and friends, possessions, even the way you earn your living – you’ll find that life begins to feel lighter and brighter.

Loving what you have gives you the freedom to start enjoying life. Without the burden of regret or desire clouding your mind, you’ll be able to see the great things you already have. And whatever your circumstances, you DO have great things.

You have life. You have the day ahead of you. You have weather, nature, people, and most importantly, you have time. Spend it wisely.

I used to wake up each morning and resent the fact that I had to go to a job I didn’t particularly like. It made me miserable and each day became a torturous slog. What a waste!

So now, I wake up each morning and spend the first few minutes hugging my little dog. Charlie won’t live forever. One day he’ll pass away and be just a memory. So I make the most of him while he’s here, today. I hug him tight. I lovingly stroke his fur, really focusing on how his fur feels. I nuzzle his ears, enjoying the warmth of his skin. I enjoy feeding him, or just listening to him breathe.

Something as simple as sunshine can brighten each day

I might throw open by back door and step out into the garden. I breathe the air, drinking in those fresh morning smells. I’ll close my eyes and listen to the beautiful birdsong, or the breeze rustling through the tree tops. Some days, I just curl up on the sofa with a coffee; enjoying the taste of the roast and the gentle sounds of a quiet house stirring.

By spending time full in each moment, enjoying the things I have now, I can start my day on a positive footing. If I continue to do this - appreciating my car, my job, the relaxed chat with my colleagues, the private hour I enjoy each lunchtime – throughout the day, each day becomes more enjoyable. And I become more aware of my life, more grateful for what I already have and yes, I do become happier.

I also find that I have little inclination or time to dwell on the things I’ve lost, or the things I feel I want. And if I do find myself doing his in a brief unguarded moment, I find I’m more able to pull myself away from those thoughts and bring myself back to the moment - by focusing on something I appreciate and value about my reality right NOW. Like sunshine. Or laughter. Or the people I love.

Simple, yes. Effective, definitely! Please try it and let me know.

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