Six Solutions - a recipe for a happier life

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When modern life overwhelms you, use the OFF switch

It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed. And not just by our emotions. Often, it’s the unrelenting pace of life that can catch us out; the barrage of sounds and sights and demands that all compete for our attention. Even after recovery, even when equipped with the calming benefits of mindful awareness, the world can leave your head spinning. This morning was one of those occasions. The alarm woke me earlier than I would have liked and I was still tired as I hobbled down stairs. The dogs followed me, fussing me for attention both eager to get out into the garden for some early morning air. I should have taken their hint. Yet instead, I switched to autopilot and even before I’d flopped onto the sofa, I was reaching for the TV remote control. Without thinking, I turned on the TV and instantly filled a corner of the lounge with sounds and images. I was still trying to fully wake up, yet already my brain was having to work hard to absorb the noises and decode the flashing images. Although I co...

Awareness helps you take control of your recovery

Have you noticed how sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies. I certainly can! I’m a huge fan of 80’s music. I was a teenager back then and the intoxicating sights and sounds of the music from that era can transport me back to those exciting and energised times: Wow, I thought I could do and be anything back then. The world seemed to pulsate with magic and possibilities. However, as much as I love the sounds and memories from those years – the opening bars of songs quickly transport me back to teenage nights out, first holidays abroad, new jobs, fascinating new people – they were once also a huge source of fuel for depression. Without knowing how to stop it, my mind would compare those days to now; weigh one set of feeling against the other and use those as weapons with which to attack me. You might understand how that works. You might even have a mind that does the same. Your mind can sometimes use your own memories against you Back as a teenager, my levels of hope and antici...

Six Solutions: Solution Six – Value all experience.

What have you done in life? For many people suffering with a mental health issue such as depression, questions like this have the same debilitating impact that Kryptonite has on Superman. Just hearing the question can bring you to your knees, tipping you into the murky pit of swirling darkness where your worse memories, regrets and frustrations lurk like spectres. And when one reaches out to grab you, it can feel like you’ll be dragged deeper and deeper, drowning in the bile of your own emotions. Yet, that same question – What have you done in life? – can actually be the source of your strength; giving you a boost of power and belief that will ultimately fuel your recovery. Asking yourself ‘What have you done in life?’ gives you the opportunity to turn how you feel and even how you see yourself completely on its head. Depression loves it when we focus on our setbacks and failures. Wallowing about in regret and remorse is like giving a steroid injection to the condition. But when you...

Six Solutions: Solution Five – Love your reality.

Have you noticed how happy people tend to appreciate and enjoy more of what they have. They don’t yearn for a promotion or pay rise. They don’t scowl towards their car, wishing it was newer, or bigger, or had a better badge. They enjoy spending time with friends and family. Life seems good. Whereas unhappy people often focus on the things they don’t have, or the things they want. Nothing they have is enough; our job should pay more; we need a more impressive house; we ‘deserve’ an exotic holiday, or more expensive clothes. Add to this a tendency to regret the things we’ve lost, or opportunities missed and taken from us, and suddenly you’ve got a very simple yet powerful recipe for potential depression. Yet it’s so easy to fall into this way of thinking. We’re bombarded by messages and adverts telling us we should want more, have more, need more. Our car could be newer, faster, bigger, more impressive. Our lives should be more exciting, more enriching, more fulfilling, more successf...

Six Solutions: Solution Four – Show compassion

We’re often told that the world can be such a cruel place. Tuning into the evening news, or reading the headlines on the morning newspapers certainly reinforces this idea. It can seem that ordinary people do little to dispel the notion either. You don’t have to look too hard to discover that negative traits such as greed, aggression, selfishness and conceit have almost become twenty-first century virtues. Those thrusting go-getters caught up in the current version of ‘life’ often wear these characteristics proudly as badges of achievement. Yet as human beings, we’re not meant to operate like this. We’re pack animals. Historically, we’ve lived in tribes and later communities; all closely bonded together with our group interests at heart. Even our recent histories are packed with stories of people ‘pulling together’, living cheek by jowl in ‘the same boat’, sharing a ‘community spirit’. Maybe it’s no coincidence then that so many of our older generations hark back to past decades, and...

Six Solutions: Solution Three – Resist Drama

As a society, we seem addicted to drama. I’m not talking about the fictional shows we watch on TV for entertainment. That can often be fun and harmless escapism. What I’m talking about is the more insidious version of drama. The toxic stream of bile that we allow into our lives and into our heads. A stream that makes us upset, frustrated, angry, sad and scared. The drama that we can do nothing about. On some levels, this comes from the media. Tune into any TV news show and you’ll often see the aftermath of disaster, or war, or social and political upheaval. You’ll see people suffering, or fighting, or arguing, weeping, wailing, sometimes even dying. Usually, these events are taking place hundreds, often thousands of miles away, to people you don’t know and will never meet. As sad as their situation and stories are, you’re powerless to make a difference. So it’s hardly surprising to find that observing and absorbing this kind of drama is unlikely to fill you with positive energy or ...